Friday, January 23, 2015

Best Bye Week Ever


Our equipment guys do a great job of breaking the balls. To me they're perfect. I don't want anyone rubbing 'em. I wouldn't want anyone touching those. Whatever feels good that day... I'm not squeezing the balls. It's not part of my process. Breaking the balls. Some guys like old balls. I tell them how great they are. - Tom Brady Quarterback, New England Patriots.

It's better than nothing. For a Dolphins fan in Boston it's been fun walking around the office.
"It didn't make any difference!"... "I know. They cheated for no reason. Pretty smart."
"He was better when the balls were right." (To my delight this was actually said to me)... "I know. That's why cheating was so stupid."

As Tom Brady and his Pats take the stage to make their, "greatest ever" arguments they do so with toilet paper stuck to their shoe. What should be a great week for the organization and its fans, has devolved into lengthy, rambling, explanations and justifications peppered with the word balls. Is it immature for me to be enjoying this so thoroughly?

 "Some guys like them round, some guys like them thin, some guys like them tacky, some guys like them brand new, some guys like old balls. They're all different. ... It's a very individual thing." Tom Brady, Quarterback

Yes. Yes it is immature. Ah the majesty that is the Patriots 2014 Super Bowl season.

"They all do it!"........ "That's probably why nobody believes Brady when he says he didn't notice."  I concede all points. Now explain to me what happened. Ask a Pats fan this question and the answer will not be short, and probably not very coherent either. Then I get to say what I think happened. "I think they cheated. Then lied about it."

"But it didn't even matter!"
"I know! That's why it's so funny!"

"When I felt them, they were perfect. I wouldn't want anyone touching those. I would zip those things up and lock them away until I got on the field and had the opportunity to play with them." Tom Brady - Mr. Patriot

I would have to be made of stone not to be enjoying this. In recent years even I have had to admit Brady belongs firmly in the argument for the best ever. He has been great. Plain and simple, for a long time now, and often times without top flight talent around him. Though in the only context I know him, as a football player, I don't think I like him. He annoys me. And sure a big part of that is a result of him slapping my team around for nearly 15 years, but it's more than that. I think his particular brand of super intense pop off grates on a wider audience than just people like myself. A year or two ago I was watching a game where Brady converted a third and short, sometime early in the second half of a mid season game and it was all fist pumps and "yes!!!!!".  Dude haven't you won three Super Bowls? "That's what makes him great!" Maybe, but from where I'm sitting that's what makes him annoying.

So yes, I'm enjoying the mindless, overblown, hysterical press swarm du jour presently swarming in golden boy's face. The usually calm and charming Tom Brady who is used to a fawning media looked uncomfortable and defensive when taking questions at his afternoon press conference.  "This isn't ISIS, ha ha, no one is dying." More nervous laughter. You could almost see him thinking "why are you all being so mean to me?!"  Made all the funnier by the likelihood  that not many people really believe Brady when he says he doesn't know anything about what happened. 

So with that delightful press conference in the books the fact remains, we still really don't know what happened. Which is great because it keeps the object shiny for the press. With any luck Tom Brady can become the Anthony Wiener of Super Bowl bye week coverage.  It certainly helps that the league is moving slowly on this as well. Has the league even spoken with Brady yet? I would guess that unless something was caught on camera, so long as everyone sticks to their stories the league will never really get to the bottom of Deflategate. Therefore you would think the league would want to weigh in on this sooner rather than later so everyone can move on. Because at the end of the day this is probably a big nothing, at least by way of penalties (though I hold out hope for a league overreaction in this current environment). And that is what makes this so enjoyable. This small, petty, insignificant nonsense, and the Patriots seemingly rolled around in it like a dog does a dead skunk. 

Yes maybe I'm hating, but haven't I earned that right after the last 15 years?

"I'm not squeezing the balls. That's not part of my process." Tom Brady - He who walks on water.

I'm not made of stone.

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3 comments

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LMFAO....great post amsboston!!!

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"I am not a criminal", "I did not have sexual relations with that Woman", "I'm not squeezing the balls. That's not part of my process."

LOL!! Great article amsboston!

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I really enjoyed reading this, thank you.