Let the word go forth to Spidermen and Princesses alike, that the police tape is going up on my sidewalk at 8 PM for tomorrow night's Holloween Festivities, with a neon sign bearing the words that all generations shall take pause, "NO CANDY"!
That's right. This year I am saving some bucks by not giving out any candy after 8 PM.
Its not like I am the Holloween Scrooge. Oh no. I happen to adore Holloween. The kids are so polite and thankful. I like to give out mini bars of Snickers, Almond Joys, Milky Ways and Butter Fingers. The kids never complain.
But this year will be different. I am drawing the line at 8 PM. Even though I adore kids dressed to the T's as their favorite characters, there is one thing I adore even more. And unfortunately for those kids, they are not even a close second. It's a blow out!
I am sorry but I absolutely love the Miami Dolphins! More than anything other than my Mom and family. If my best friend, who happens to be a fan of whomever we are playing that week, needed my left kidney immediately or he would die and the Dolphins were playing at that moment, I would certainly call his Mom and offer to speak at his funeral.
Come tomorrow night, we are scheduled to host the Cincinnati Bengals at 8:25 PM. So that means at 8 PM sharp, the police tape goes up and there shall be no one within earshot of me. I will require no distractions.
Yes, I know, I can put some candy outside in a bucket or large tupperware bowl with a sign "Take One". But guess what? Then I will hear the kids coming up the walk and, more importantly, they will be able to hear me.
Depending on how this game goes, I could be shouting obscenities at the TV the very moment that adorable Princess reaches for that tempting Snickers bar. No parent wants their little kids joyously traversing my walkway only to have to grab them and haul them away because they think some nut job lives inside. Which can actually happen, again, depending on how this game goes.
So for the childrens' sake, I will not give them any treats this year after 8 PM.
Thank God I don't live on the West Coast, because then this game would be starting at 5:25 PM. Peak Trick or Treat hours commencing at kick off!
I would have to move. I kid you not. Pull up the Van Lines trailer, wheel out the furniture and point her east immediately!
Dolfan since 12/25/1971