The Miami Dolphins surprised sports fans everywhere when they announced the signing of Regis Philbin as the next coach of the team.
"We're excited to have a celebrity coach for this team," said owner Stephen Ross.
"We knew we had to have star power, and if anyone can get the most out of the players, we think its Regis!" added a beaming Jeff Ireland.
For his part, Philbin said "I am so excited about this. Now you know why I had to leave the talk show with Kelly. And it was really hard to keep this a secret for this long."
Regis is expected to hire Erik Estrada as offensive coordinator, and Mr. T as defensive coordinator, according to those with knowledge of the decision.
"I'm looking forward to big things from this team, and especially my new starting quarterback Jason Bieber. Excuse me, Justin, I guess I need to get more in tune with this younger generation. He's just so popular right now. I'm sure teenage girls will love the experience at the newly renamed Burger Barn Stadium," added the owner.