Friday, September 17, 2010

to all the haters...

For those of you who are new to Dave's work, I'd like to quote from my bio...

Once upon a time, there was a guy named Dave was born the same year as the Dolphins in the same city as the Dolphins. So, naturally, he had to be a fan of the team. Like many fans, he had an opinion about how things were going, and would tell his friends that opinion - first by mouth, and later by email.

He wanted to express himself, so he had the bright idea of making a website devoted to the team. It was an outlet for him; a means to express his opinion. But Dave has a warped sense of humor. So, naturally, it had to be something other than a straight-laced "normal" website.

He also needed a name. "Dave" just didn't cut it. He needed to make it catchy. Back in 1990, he read an article by Comedy Magician Penn Jillette (of Penn & Teller) wrote for PC Computing. The article was called "Trash It" (with the catchy subhead of "Go Ahead. Dominate Your Pristine PC"). Basically, Penn noted that most people left their PCs exactly as they came out of the box, and had no "personalization." Dave took that to heart, and put a skull and crossbones decal on his mointor, and later hacked Windows to call the computer "Dave's Bitchin' PC." It has carried on over the years, through various endeavors.

But more importantly, a moniker was born, and it was recognizable! He became "Bitchin' Dave." It does have a catchiness, doesn't it? That doesn't mean he bitches about the team, generally, but he just *has* to sometimes.

And one more thing about the Bitchin' one. Sometimes you'll hear him say something about his grandmother. That goes way back to the mid 1980s when he and his friend Alan started a funny little diatribe about how the New York Jets couldn't beat the Dolphins. And not only that, they couldn't even beat Dave's grandmother. With one arm tied behind her back. And in recent years, he will talk about how the Dolphins can't beat his grandmother.

Bitchin' Dave is owner and operator of "Dave's Bitchin Look at the Miami Dolphins" (sometimes called "Daves Warped Look at the Miami Dolphins" for family reasons)

It was *among* the first to Dolphins web sites, starting about the same time as Curt ( back in 1995. The basic nature of the site is to provide a more humorous bent on the Dolphins than most "traditional" sites. He enjoys creating amusing commentaries about what he see, but he is a football fan and understands the game.

In addition, Dave does a podcast in conjunction with

He knows a good bit about football, but his acumen in selecting players falls short, much to the delight of the other owners in his fantasy leagues. He's been playing fantasy football for a few years, and once in a great while, he actually manages to win a game. But, he keeps coming back for more.

Ask him about his favorite team and he'll tell you "The Dolphins....and whoever is playing the Patriots!"

And by the way, his other great passion in life (other than his family) is Disney World.

As they might say in Hawai'i "Mahalo, from the bitchin' one."

My tongue is firmly planted in my cheek when it comes to this team.  The site is *supposed to be* humorous.  If that bothers you, feel free to stop visiting. 

But if you do visit, and want to comment on my posts, that's fine by me.  Even if you want to resort to mis-spellings, and name calling.
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Anonymous DeleteReply

you don't have to "hack" a PC to change it's name.

and yer still an idiot, or as a l33t haxor would read, ID10T.

Anonymous DeleteReply

my bad for the spelling error (even though it isn't one, it's pirate talk)

You're an idiot beyond the scope of imagination.

Anonymous DeleteReply

for the record, this anonymous posts things like:

henne did great last year, he'll do fine this year, every QB has down games.

spiller had 7 for 6 and an average of 0.9 ypc..
think bills fans are whining to cut or trade him?

no, because unlike many of my fellow dolphins fans, they aren't bitches.

no one tells you because no one cares about you, which, btw, is because yer an idiot

Oh, and also, the ever popular "yer an idiot"


The problem with this site is that it's not very funny, and it's not very insightful. It sorta reads like my 12 year old nephew wrote most of it (so I was shocked to discover just now that you're in your 40's).

It wouldn't be bothersome, except it clogs up the RSS feed on - in between legitimately entertaining and informative articles there's always this tripe.

It adds nothing useful or funny, but seems more like a bad vanity project. Most of this stuff reads like bad facebook status updates.

Which is fine, but if you're going to pawn it off as legit with the other feeds on phins, you should at least attempt a bare-bones level of professionalism.


As Mark Twain once said "generalizations are always wrong, including this one."

I would generalize and say that most sports fans take their team - and themselves - too seriously.

This is sports. Its inherently funny. You have to roll with it.

Writing about who is the better backup center bores me - I don't want to read about that, and so I don't write about either.

Now, uncle CJ, will you buy me some beer?