Saturday, September 01, 2007

Preseason awards '07

Thurman Thomas award given each year to the player who manages to lose his helmet during a game (and since Thurman played here one year, it seems only fair): Once again, there were no moments where a player lost his helmet. So, we'll turn this one a little, and say that Regan Mauai's dash through drywall without a helmet was kind of dumb.

The battle of the bulge given each year to the player who tips the scales, and who in older days would have required a cattle scale to weigh in : Keith "Tractor" Traylor had the inside track again this year....but LJ Shelton came to work over his playing weight, and basically ate himself out of a job, so the nod goes to Sheldon.

Dude with the best name. There are a lot of good names on this team. You have KGB's brother for one. But, AGB doesn't flow off the tongue. Our winner this year didn't make it to the team until last week. His name is Jorge Cordova, and we love him because it evokes memories of Ricardo Montalban 1970s commercials for the Cordoba.

[editor's note: if you don't recall the commercial, watch it on Youtube]

Offseason cheerleader moment award A new award, this is given to the cheerleader who had a "memorable" offseason. In the past, we've had cheerleaders lose their tops at tryouts, and former cheerleaders telling us amusing stories about how they prevented that. But, we're going in a different direction this year. Bibiana was the hottest NFL cheerleader. And she came to tryouts this year overweight. Director Heather made a comment that she didn't know how Bibiana was going to lose the weight. And yet, she did.

The Yatil Green memorial award, as demonstrated by Will Poole given each year to the player who injures himself very early in training camp : Joe Toledo injured a knee early in the preseason last year, and was placed on injured reserve. He came back from the injury, and then just before training camp, he gashed open a toe while exiting a hot tub. He was placed on injured reserve again. Nice going.

The Ricky Williams award Given to the guy who simply quits on the team Its obscure, sure, but Miami signed a rookie free agent named Marino Dukes (OT). A few weeks into training camp, he walked into Cameron's office and said "this isn't for me," and left.
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