Dave's Bitchin' Look at the Miami Dolphins

I am going to go on the record and say that the only championship Rex Ryan will win is a pie eating contest.

Apparently will Allen asked for an injury settlement so he could seek employment elsewhere.

The dolphins said no and left him on ir.

Possible reason? The pats are thin at corner and inquired as to his status

The Miami Dolphins have launched their official online photo store. For the first time in the team's history, fans may visit the store and purchase official photos for home wall art, gifts or office decorations.  The official photo store of the offers more than 150 images captured by the Dolphins' official award-winning photographers. Photos including images of Dolphins players, game action, cheerleaders, special events and Sun Life Stadium are available. New photos will be added within an hour of the conclusion of each Dolphins game!

To celebrate the grand opening of the photo store, fans will receive a complimentary photo of their choice!

 Just visit:

http://www.replayphotos.com/miamidolphinsphotostore/offer.cfm?_rid=bitchindave.com

Someone emailed to ask why parcells was fired. I shot back "no canned tuna here. Parcells quit"

This is a most peculiar story from the 3-sentence press release to the timing to Harvey Greene assuring the media that "nothing changes" and telling everyone parcells was upstairs breaking down game film at that very moment.

And of course the news captured the national attention but they got the same blank look from the phins.

And there are already rumors about carl petersen swirling.

here's their opinion of the Dolphins this season:

Miami Dolphins

• Strength: With a new big-name free agent and a talented young quarterback, Miami has the potential to disappoint like never before
• Weakness: A common sleeper pick among analysts; few things spell your demise quite as surely as that
• Player To Watch: LeBron James should play his first game at tight end roughly halfway through the season
• Intangibles: Already boasting loads of beautiful women and the NBA's most talented assemblage of players, Miami needs only to win the Super Bowl to really send a f@%&$-you to the rest of the nation

The dolphins clarified that bill moved from the vp role to a consultancy role and that jeff Ireland assumed bills old responsibility.

Further they said that this was planned all along and nothing really changes.

Why am I having trouble believing that?

This morning I was saying that I'd call for parcells to step down if the phins struggled.

Today he stepped down.

I can't help but wonder if this had anything to do with cost cutting on the team.

I mentioned earlier today that I would call for parcells' resignation if things didn't work out.

And then today, he stepped down. Lends credence to the thought that Ross was trying to trim the budget, doesn't it?

Tony Sparano thinks Jason Allen is finally ready to start, and so he will be starting Sunday in place of Sean Smith.

So the guy wallows under 3 coaches - including this one - but suddenly he's ready?

Call me skeptical.

I wonder what's in the water in Davie these days.....

The phins cut Charlie Anderson - who until the end of the last preseason game was a contender for a starting job - and brought in lb Bobby Carpenter who was a draft pick of (who else?) Bill Parcells when he was in Dallas.

...about the roster changes.

I can only think of two possibilities:
(1) they are trying to contain costs, and this came down from Stephen Ross.  I find this unlikely based on Parcell's stance that he wants to buy the groceries.

(2) they have decided that they need to build for the future.  And if that's the case, I have a problem with that. 

This is year three of - what? - a 6 year plan?  That's not good enough.  I want results *NOW* not in another 3 years from now.  We're in year 3 with this regime.  If the tem struggles and winds up below 8-8 (or is headed in that direction), I will be the first to call for Parcells' resignation.  I'm not happy with him as it is (remember he hasn't won bupkis in 20 years), and this just strikes me as a slap in the face to the fans....

A lot was made of the Phins dropping two players from last year's draft that were high draft picks.  But the reality is that this is not that uncommon.  Partly, this has to do with the pressure that's put on the team and the draft picks because of the salary they get just for having been drafted in that position.  But that's another discussion.

Right now, let's take a look back at the drafts dating back to 2005, to see how those players have fared to today:

We start with Saban's 1st draft, where 67% of the players are no longer on the roster:
Ronnie Brown - the incumbent
Matt Roth DE - cut
Channing Crowder OLB - solid contributor
Travis Daniels CB - long gone
Anthony Alabi T - longer gone
Kevin Vickerson DT - longest gone

Saban's second draft: (85% gone)
Jason Allen DB - special teams contributor, may start
Derek Hagan WR - gone
Joseph Toledo T - gone
Fred Evans DT -gone
Rodrique Wright DT - gone
Devin Aromashodu WR - gone
 
Overall, that means that 75% of Saban's draft picks are no longer with team
---------------------------------------------------

Of course, Cam only had one draft, and 80% of his players are gone
Ted Ginn Jr. WR -gone
John Beck QB - gone
Samson Satele C - gone
Lorenzo Booker RB - gone
Paul Soliai DT - solid contributor
Reagan Mauia FB - gone
Drew Mormino C - gone
Kelvin Smith LB - gone
Brandon Fields P - solid punter
Abraham Wright LB - gone
---------------------------------------------------

And now for the Triumverate:

Ireland's first: ([edit: 55%] gone or on IR)
Jake Long T - probably the team MVP
Phillip Merling DE - on IR
Chad Henne QB - the starter
Kendall Langford DE - solid contributor
Shawn Murphy G - gone
Jalen Parmele RB - gone
Donald Thomas G - gone
Lex Hilliard RB - decent reserve
Lionel Dotson DE - gone

Ireland's second: (44% gone)
Vontae Davis DB - solid starter
Pat White QB - gone
Sean Smith DB - decent player, may start
Patrick Turner WR - gone
Brian Hartline WR - starter
John Nalbone TE - made team
Chris Clemons DB - starter
Andrew Gardner T - gone
J.D. Folsom LB - gone

This year's draft: (38% did not make team, or are on IR)
Jared Odrick DT - likely starter
Koa Misi DE - made team
John Jerry OT - likely starter
A.J. Edds LB - on IR
Nolan Carroll CB - made team
Reshad Jones SS - made team
Chris McCoy DL  - gone
Austin Spitler LB - gone
 
And that means that Ireland overall has 46% of his draftees who are no longer on the team.  That's not spectacular, either, but is fairly consistent with the NFL (okay, its on the lower end, but its typical)

I think the Dolphins will be in the 8-8 or 9-7 range. The games against the east opponents being the difference. And I think 9-7 is good enough to win the division this year...

The winners of the preseason awards for 2010 are....(drum roll)

Guy with the best name: Nate Ness. I kept thinking of the Loch Ness montser whenever I heard about him. And I couldn't help but imaging Nessie out there playing football!

The Yatil Green award (as exemplified by Will Poole) - for the person who gets injured early in training camp: Phillip Merling was in trouble with the law, and then went down with an injury before camp even started. There were several other guys vying for the award, but he gets the nod for doing it first.

The Thurman Thomas award - for losing one's helmet during the preseason: it wasn't a helmet, but it was on his head...Kendall Langford's loss of a $50,000 earring during a late practice I think qualifies. So congrats to him.

Best cheerleader moment: There weren't any memorable moments, but I wanted an excuse to include a picture from tryouts.

And our preseason MVP: wow, with the performances we had, I guess it goes to field goal kicker Dan Carpenter who at least was consistent and hit a long one.

The final roster cuts, and additions to the team are nothing short of perplexing. I can't make heads or tails out of them, and as of last night, neither could Curt or Chris at Phins.com (you can listen to that conversation in my latest podcast ).

It would seem the Dolphins went totally with youth. They now have 1 11-year player (Pennington), 1 10-year vet (Ricky), 6 guys with 7 years, 5 with 6 years, and everyone else is 5 or under. To me, that is very, very peculiar.

And add to that the fact that David Martin was gobbled up by the Bills, Patrick Turner went to the Jets, and no fewer than 8 teams made a claim on Nate Ness (and he ultimately went to the Seahawks), and you have to wonder if they made the "right" choices.

I guess we'll see on Sunday...

Given yesterday's "discovery" of the link between the Dolphins and the pudding company, and the fact that I'm a little punchy about all the "real" stuff that's happening with the fins, I decided to have a little fun and create a totally non-scientific (ie, made up) study of Dolphins' players' pudding preferences.

Call it a pudding pie chart.

From the sentinel

A day after formulating their 53-man roster the Dolphins cut veteran
defensive linemen Marques Douglas and Charles Grant, offensive linemen
Cory Procter, and placed cornerback Will Allen on injured reserve.

Why did they abandon all four players, who served as insurance plans
for 2010? Because they poached four linemen off the waiver wire and
needed to make room for them.

The Dolphins landed defensive ends Clifton Geathers, a sixth-round
pick who was cut by the Browns, and Robert Rose, an undrafted free
agent from Ohio State who spent camp with the Seahawks, and offensive
linemen Joe Reitz and Jermey Parnell.

We've got the first round completed, and have the winner's bracket and loser's bracket.

We're continuing with the first grouping in the loser's bracket:

http://bitchindave.com/cheer/vote.asp
(optimized for your mobile phone!)

Check out the standings at http://bitchindave.com/cheer/stand.asp

Released were:
S Nate Ness
CB AJ Wallace
OG Ray Feinga
OLB Chris McCoy
S Jonathan Amaya

And that is that. But. I suspect the Phins will probably swap 3-5 players tomorrow with other teams' roster casualties.

LB Austin Spitler (verified)
OT Andrew Gardner
FB Rolly Lumbala
WR Julius Pruitt
LB Erick Walden
DB Ross Weaver

And in a surprising move, TE David Martin was also released. Well, maybe its not all that surprising. They wrote a contract that guaranteed his salary if he was on the roster on opening day. So, who knows? They may bring him back later.

That leaves 5 to go, by my count.

That's the line that's often uttered by "The Turk" (that is, the guy who is assigned to deliver the message to players that they've been cut).

So far, we've heard about:
ILB J.D. Folsom
DL Ryan Baker
CB Kevin Hobbs
OT Andrew Gardner
DE Lionel Dotson
DT Montavious Stanley
OL Andrew Hartline

And...
QB Pat White
G Donald Thomas
WR Patrick Turner

The real surprise here is Donald Thomas who was "the guy" before he was injured in his rookie season - but started most of last year.

The Dolphins have to cut 22 in total, so look for more to come.

By the way, you may be wondering where "The Turk" comes from. I was unable to find anything conclusive, but there are two possibilities:

(1) The NFL started using "Turk" because of the Turkish soldiers of the 17th and 18th century and their long, curved scimitars. It's a wonderful visual. Beware the Turk. He comes late at night, armed with a long, curved sword that he'll used to cut you from the team! "

and (2) In the 18th century there a mechanical man seated behind a wooden cabinet. The Turk, as it became known, was fashioned from wood, powered by clockwork, and dressed in a stylish Turkish costume. Most astonishing of all, it was capable of playing chess. People wondered about its magical powers; it moved without strings or wires...much like the mechanical magic man who brings the bad news to players.

"Big Ben" had his suspension reduced to 4 games.

Whatever happened to the tough stance?

Why would Goodell reduce it anyway?

Estupido

We heard this week that Jeff Ireland wanted to seek out Dez Bryant and shake hands with him.  He apparently did just that during warmups.

We hear there is no truth to the rumor that what he said was "I saw you mom last night...."

[editor's note: we tried to tell him this was a bad joke, and yesterday's news, but he just wouldn't listen]

The second half of the game was markedly better than the first.  There was some excitement, and a fair amount of effort put forth by the reserves.

It seemed clear to me that the reserves were playing hard and *wanted* to win.  They put it on the line.

Sure, in the end Miami fell 27-25.  But at least they were trying. 

I liked what I saw from Marlon Moore, Paul Soliai, Corey Proctor, Roberto Wallace, Charles Grant, Micah Johnson, and Nate Ness in particular.  The only locks to make Miami's team are Moore and Soliai, but I suspect the rest will wind up on someone's team - or at least on a practice squad.

But as in the first half I expected more.  While there were a couple of sustained drives, and it did come down to the wire, the offense looked erratic, and Tyler Thigpen was downright bad. Okay, he had a few good plays, but I think his negative plays overshadowed the good ones. Good thing he's the #3! Meanwhile, the defense let too much happen for the Cowboys.

Nolan Carroll didn't have much opportunity to handle returns as most of the kicks were deep into the endzone.  But at least there were no big breakdowns.

So, is there cause for concern?  I'd say yes.  I'm not convinced this team is ready for primetime.  I think they're a work in progress, which is NOT what I wanted to see this offseason.  Don't give me the jibber jabber that they're still building, or they're young, or whatever. 

As I stated during the offseason:

I think the Dolphins were pretty well validated based on the games and outcomes today.  They beat the Jets twice, and narrowly lost to the Colts; they had the Saints on the ropes....

And that leads me to this: I'm setting an expectation for next year based on what I saw.  I expect the Dolphins to HOST the AFC championship game next season.

 

Anything less would be a huge disappointment. 

 

You hear that coach Sparano?  Its time to make it happen!